A PRESIDENT'S DAY RANT
This is Our America, 2005
Reg: I want to really write about what is bothering me about this country here in the middle of the first decade of the new millenium. The reason we keep letting rapacious, right-wing dunderheads like Bush get "reelected" has to do with moral values and character all right, just not in the way that the Republicans and their media lapdogs would like everyone to think--
Nattering Nabob: That's all well and good buddy, but market research on blogs shows that Net surfers prefer short blogs with a breezy, diary-like feel, preferably with pictures and links to porn sites. Maybe you should write 200 words about the Super Bowl's best commercial or give your Grammy picks?
Reg: Who the hell are you? You've never contributed to dissent channel before? Besides, this blog is dedicated to dissenting against the status quo and in particular speaking out against the not-so-gradual erosion of our civil liberties in service of constructing the perfect Christian Fundamentalist war state--
N. Nabob: Blah blah blah blah. I'm your alter ego man, and I'm telling you that that is some boring, wack shit! You pointyhead liberals are always going on and on about "civil liberties" and "Fundamentalism". What's wrong with a little old time religion? And the terrorists who flew those jets into the World Trade Center weren't concerned about anybody's liberties. If we had placed stricter controls on foreign nationals, they might have never been able to pull off such a heinous crime. Besides, blogs should be entertaining! You're not CNN or the New York Times. You have no staff! You're just four people with opinions and access to thousands of weblinks. Why not make it more...fun?!
Reg: The problem with old-time religion is just that--it's old-time. It hasn't evolved to reflect the realities of being a human being in the 21st--hell, the 19th--century. Some things will always be morally wrong. Murder. Rape. Incest. Lying. But where it gets hinky is with issues like abortion, stem cell research, cloning. The people who wrote the Bible weren't dealing in science fiction. They could have never envisioned such things and as such their moral guidance doesn't help us a lot there. We need something new, something fresh and you never get new and fresh with any religion, be it Christian, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism or whatever. As for liberties, too many Americans are like you on that subject--I believe we have certain inalienable rights which shouldn't be infringed upon because of political expediency. I know one thing...once you give an inch, you never get that inch back. That's one of the things that scares me most about our present administration.
N. Nabob: That girl in the godaddy.com commercial in the Super Bowl had some super huge knockers. That was a funny commercial!
Reg: Which Fox pulled before it could run in the second half. All because of the fear of the FCC's wrath, which plays right into my civil liberties rant. Our national debate has become more concerned with boobs than with funding for education. We worry more about exposed flesh than we do the cancers and new diseases the ravaging of our environment has caused over the years.
N. Nabob: Why are progressives always ranting? You guys need to mellow out, watch some Desperate Housewives preferably while drinking a decaf. And as for the environment, there's not much that can be done with over six billion people on the planet and a need to provide food, clothing and shelter for all of them. It's a balance that just can't be maintained, but all things considered mankind probably does a pretty decent job--
Reg: If we were actually providing food, shelter and clothing for everyone on planet Earth I might actually buy into that. We're doing a lousy job. We can't even insure these things for all of our citizens in the U.S. and we are by far the wealthiest nation on Earth! And I do watch Desperate Housewives, and frankly, I find it lacking. What's all the hype about?
N. Nabob: I'll bet you prefer PBS and HBO? Why don't you write something about your sex life? It's Valentine's Day, don't you have a girlfriend? People love to read about sex...
Reg: What's wrong with preferring something unsullied by the inexorable mind fuck of commercialism? Right now the only right in this country that we can be sure will be protected is the right to be a consumer, to go into debt to pay bankers and insurance companies money. Some rights! And frankly, television is better when it doesn't have to try and fit a story in between erectile dysfunction ads and beer commercials. As for my sex life, that's none of anybody's business, although I will say that I do have a girlfriend and I probably need to order that bouquet of flowers soon.
N.Nabob: How about the Michael Jackson trial? I think he's guilty, the sick fuck! All those years of inappropriate relationships with young boys. We never got the whole story of what happened when a then 28-year old Michael Jackson tried to check Emanuel Lewis into an LA hotel room as his "son". Why don't you write about that? You bought a Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits album a couple of weeks ago. Are you a Blue State pervert? Do you belong to NAMBLA?
Reg: I'm running out of patience with you and don't you dare use that old Republican/McCarthy trick of slandering my name by associating me with groups I am not a member of and in no way support. All because I bought a Michael Jackson album! If that's the case then there are about 45 million perverts in the United States or more. Admittedly, he's not selling many records these days, but he's still innocent until proven guilty and there has always been something out of whack with the stories of all these accusers over the years.
Look, I'll grant you this--Michael Jackson isn't mentally healthy and he could use real therapy. His Dad is a vicious, jealous, petty man who beat him when he was a boy and tried to control his life well into adulthood, which factors into Jackson's problems now. His Peter Pan fixation is obvious even to those without a psychology degree and it's obvious that he doesn't realize that his relationships with young boys cross a line of appropriateness--which is by no means is the same thing as saying he molested these young boys or that he is some wanton sex criminal. I believe the truth will come out and Jackson, whatever his weaknesses, will be exonerated.
I hate that you did this! I didn't want to talk about Michael Jackson! The corporate media distracts us with wall-to-wall coverage of the latest celebrity trial and spends relatively little time talking about the President's budget, which takes us back to early Reaganomics with it's heavy defense budget and across the board cuts in social spending. How much have we heard in the mainstream media about Bush's attorney general appointee, Alberto Gonzales and his not-so-tacit support of government sponsored torture? Not as interesting as the latest Paris Hilton sighting or celebrity DUI arrest, is it?
N. Nabob: (yawning) Did you see that picture on the Internet of Paris Hilton getting out of the limo without wearing any panties?
Reg: Jesus, you're hopeless. Go away, we don't want you on dissent channel!
N. Nabob: That's left wing censorship! I have a right to say what I want, even if it disagrees with your group "Berkeley-think".
Reg: At least there's thinking going on in Berkeley, as opposed to a blind embrace of the Bible.
N. Nabob: Blue state heathen!
Reg: Red state hypocrite!...Now, where was I? Oh yes, this President's Day perhaps we should think about the qualities that truly make for a great president....
Reg: I want to really write about what is bothering me about this country here in the middle of the first decade of the new millenium. The reason we keep letting rapacious, right-wing dunderheads like Bush get "reelected" has to do with moral values and character all right, just not in the way that the Republicans and their media lapdogs would like everyone to think--
Nattering Nabob: That's all well and good buddy, but market research on blogs shows that Net surfers prefer short blogs with a breezy, diary-like feel, preferably with pictures and links to porn sites. Maybe you should write 200 words about the Super Bowl's best commercial or give your Grammy picks?
Reg: Who the hell are you? You've never contributed to dissent channel before? Besides, this blog is dedicated to dissenting against the status quo and in particular speaking out against the not-so-gradual erosion of our civil liberties in service of constructing the perfect Christian Fundamentalist war state--
N. Nabob: Blah blah blah blah. I'm your alter ego man, and I'm telling you that that is some boring, wack shit! You pointyhead liberals are always going on and on about "civil liberties" and "Fundamentalism". What's wrong with a little old time religion? And the terrorists who flew those jets into the World Trade Center weren't concerned about anybody's liberties. If we had placed stricter controls on foreign nationals, they might have never been able to pull off such a heinous crime. Besides, blogs should be entertaining! You're not CNN or the New York Times. You have no staff! You're just four people with opinions and access to thousands of weblinks. Why not make it more...fun?!
Reg: The problem with old-time religion is just that--it's old-time. It hasn't evolved to reflect the realities of being a human being in the 21st--hell, the 19th--century. Some things will always be morally wrong. Murder. Rape. Incest. Lying. But where it gets hinky is with issues like abortion, stem cell research, cloning. The people who wrote the Bible weren't dealing in science fiction. They could have never envisioned such things and as such their moral guidance doesn't help us a lot there. We need something new, something fresh and you never get new and fresh with any religion, be it Christian, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism or whatever. As for liberties, too many Americans are like you on that subject--I believe we have certain inalienable rights which shouldn't be infringed upon because of political expediency. I know one thing...once you give an inch, you never get that inch back. That's one of the things that scares me most about our present administration.
N. Nabob: That girl in the godaddy.com commercial in the Super Bowl had some super huge knockers. That was a funny commercial!
Reg: Which Fox pulled before it could run in the second half. All because of the fear of the FCC's wrath, which plays right into my civil liberties rant. Our national debate has become more concerned with boobs than with funding for education. We worry more about exposed flesh than we do the cancers and new diseases the ravaging of our environment has caused over the years.
N. Nabob: Why are progressives always ranting? You guys need to mellow out, watch some Desperate Housewives preferably while drinking a decaf. And as for the environment, there's not much that can be done with over six billion people on the planet and a need to provide food, clothing and shelter for all of them. It's a balance that just can't be maintained, but all things considered mankind probably does a pretty decent job--
Reg: If we were actually providing food, shelter and clothing for everyone on planet Earth I might actually buy into that. We're doing a lousy job. We can't even insure these things for all of our citizens in the U.S. and we are by far the wealthiest nation on Earth! And I do watch Desperate Housewives, and frankly, I find it lacking. What's all the hype about?
N. Nabob: I'll bet you prefer PBS and HBO? Why don't you write something about your sex life? It's Valentine's Day, don't you have a girlfriend? People love to read about sex...
Reg: What's wrong with preferring something unsullied by the inexorable mind fuck of commercialism? Right now the only right in this country that we can be sure will be protected is the right to be a consumer, to go into debt to pay bankers and insurance companies money. Some rights! And frankly, television is better when it doesn't have to try and fit a story in between erectile dysfunction ads and beer commercials. As for my sex life, that's none of anybody's business, although I will say that I do have a girlfriend and I probably need to order that bouquet of flowers soon.
N.Nabob: How about the Michael Jackson trial? I think he's guilty, the sick fuck! All those years of inappropriate relationships with young boys. We never got the whole story of what happened when a then 28-year old Michael Jackson tried to check Emanuel Lewis into an LA hotel room as his "son". Why don't you write about that? You bought a Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits album a couple of weeks ago. Are you a Blue State pervert? Do you belong to NAMBLA?
Reg: I'm running out of patience with you and don't you dare use that old Republican/McCarthy trick of slandering my name by associating me with groups I am not a member of and in no way support. All because I bought a Michael Jackson album! If that's the case then there are about 45 million perverts in the United States or more. Admittedly, he's not selling many records these days, but he's still innocent until proven guilty and there has always been something out of whack with the stories of all these accusers over the years.
Look, I'll grant you this--Michael Jackson isn't mentally healthy and he could use real therapy. His Dad is a vicious, jealous, petty man who beat him when he was a boy and tried to control his life well into adulthood, which factors into Jackson's problems now. His Peter Pan fixation is obvious even to those without a psychology degree and it's obvious that he doesn't realize that his relationships with young boys cross a line of appropriateness--which is by no means is the same thing as saying he molested these young boys or that he is some wanton sex criminal. I believe the truth will come out and Jackson, whatever his weaknesses, will be exonerated.
I hate that you did this! I didn't want to talk about Michael Jackson! The corporate media distracts us with wall-to-wall coverage of the latest celebrity trial and spends relatively little time talking about the President's budget, which takes us back to early Reaganomics with it's heavy defense budget and across the board cuts in social spending. How much have we heard in the mainstream media about Bush's attorney general appointee, Alberto Gonzales and his not-so-tacit support of government sponsored torture? Not as interesting as the latest Paris Hilton sighting or celebrity DUI arrest, is it?
N. Nabob: (yawning) Did you see that picture on the Internet of Paris Hilton getting out of the limo without wearing any panties?
Reg: Jesus, you're hopeless. Go away, we don't want you on dissent channel!
N. Nabob: That's left wing censorship! I have a right to say what I want, even if it disagrees with your group "Berkeley-think".
Reg: At least there's thinking going on in Berkeley, as opposed to a blind embrace of the Bible.
N. Nabob: Blue state heathen!
Reg: Red state hypocrite!...Now, where was I? Oh yes, this President's Day perhaps we should think about the qualities that truly make for a great president....
posted by Reggie E. Scott at 3:19 PM
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