TOP TEN QUESTIONS YOU WON'T GET AT ANY UPCOMING PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

10. "So, Congressman Kucinich, what goes best with a porterhouse steak, red wine or white?"

9. "Mr. President, which do you think will be easier to find: those socks that always seem to turn up missing after the laundry is done or those Iraqi weapons of mass destruction?"

8. "Rev. Sharpton--you are low on money. You have no shot on Super Tuesday. Your campaign has failed to capture the imagination of African-American voters. When are you running for President of Haiti?"

7. "Mr. President, if you were a tree - would you cut yourself down?"

6. "Mr. President, if you and Kenneth Lay were prison inmates together, which one of you do you think would be a 'top' or a 'bottom'? And should it be legal to marry him?"

5. "Senator Edwards, you have run a very positive campaign so far. If you could kill one Yankee with your bare hands--other than Senator Kerry--who would it be?"

4. "Mr. President, are you aware that every time the Vice President opens his mouth your lips seem to move?"

3. "Senator Kerry is there any truth to the rumor that in your basement you have a picture of you which is aging faster than you are and in your attic you have a voodoo doll of Howard Dean that's stuck full of hatpins?"

2. "Congressman Kucinich, who do you like to win America's Top Model?"

And the #1 least likely debate question in coming months:

"Mr. President, which will be easier for you to find, the 2.9 million jobs lost during your administration or those Iraqi weapons of mass destruction?"