Wednesday, December 15, 2004

You Go to War with the Army You Have

Let me set the scene, friends. There I was sitting in a less than write-home-aboutable hotel room in Vancouver when I espied a breaking news report about That Colossal Asshole's press conference with the troops. And it was impossible to remain sane listening to That Colossal Asshole's assault on logic, language, and all that is decent and just.

Asked Spec. Thomas Wilson of the TN National Guard to the cheers of other soldiers, "Why do we soldiers have to dig through local landfills for pieces of scrap metal and compromised ballistic glass to up-armor our vehicles?"

To which That Colossal Asshole replied:
You go to war with the Army you have, not the Army you might want or wish to have.
THUD.

That's me hitting the floor hearing the Secretary of Defense, possibly the most appallingly arrogant person to have ever lived, do what he does best: evade the question by creating dead air with his reprehensible "logic" -- all filler, hot air, prevarication, and dodge. Hence, the original title to this post: Sweet Jesus, I Detest Donald Rumsfeld.

And, hey, asshole, my cousin is on his THIRD tour of duty in Iraq, and if you don't damn mind, we'd all like him back in one piece, even if he is just "the army we have," you un-preparing, illegal war-making, unnecessary death-causing, unparalleled prick. The Army We Have is doing their job. And you? Have you no decency, sir, at long last?

And I thought, well, surely the next press conference will be of dumbyass standing in front of the whole world to publicly disavow Rummy's incredibly offensive remarks, which are tantamount to "screw you, suckahs!", and do the only decent thing and fire him on the spot.

[Crickets chirping.]

So what did the Witless Bleater have to say? Did he fire Rummy on the spot?
President Bush's Chief of Staff Andrew Card emphasized White House support for Rumsfeld on Sunday.

He "is doing a spectacular job, and the president has great confidence in him," Card told ABC's "This Week" program.
THUD.

[Media Matters for America has even more about the tempest in a teacup over Spec. Wilson's supposed "question by committee."]