Sunday, November 14, 2004

Jesusland: Love It or Leave It?

Of course, someone sent me the f* rant. [WARNING: Explicit. Very explicit.] And, of course, I laughed, and I agreed, and then I wanted to defend these backwater yahoo rednecks. Not all of them are idiots, and not all of them are moralizing prudes, and not all of them play banjo on the front porch while sippin' from a bottle of moonshine while plotting against our African-American brethren and sistren. The B*shies set in motion a concerted disinformation campaign, this much is true. And maybe some of the folks--that neighborly, God-fearin' kind--down here especially buy into the Story of America, all the great myths, cos that's all they have. They may not be totally media savvy, may not be up on their Derrida, but if the damn Dems could give them an alternative (satisfying) myth, I guaran-damn-tee these Bible-belters would follow suit, cos it's not a secret the Repugs don't give one shit about the poor and the powerless. [I am not advancing the point here that "the South" is comprised wholly by the poor and the powerless, but I am saying that household income here is less than the national average.]

My fave part of the rant:
All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your f*cking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a f*cking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your f*cking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal f*cking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherf*cker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s f*cking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own f*cking stop signs, assholes.

Completely agree. This idea of "my money, not the gubmint's money" has GOT TO come to an end. And soon.

Anyhoo, I thought South Knox Bubba provided an important counterpoint to's admittedly poignant screed.