Thursday, September 30, 2004

From the Creepy Supremes Files: "Eccentric" Scalia Endorses Orgies

Yes, he actually did say, "I even take the position that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged." Vomit. This is just ripe for a textual analysis and with apologies, dear reader, I must beg off, not being of iron stomach.

But the creeptastic shout outs did not end on that orgiastic note. Scalia also said in an aside that the 17th Amendment, which provides for the direct election of senators, was "a bad idea." It's obvious this guy does not believe that the voters should be allowed their own vote! Gaw-dang. New motto for Antonin: One Man, My Vote.

When asked if he had any gay friends, the Supreme responded, "I probably do have some gay friends. I’ve never pressed the point.” Well, if he'd "pressed the point," he'd probably know for sure! Ba-dow! Thank you, I'll be here all week! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

My personal favorite mal mot from Mr. Eccentric's lecture was his response to a question about his own inter-effin'-ference in the 2000 (s)election: "Would you rather have the president of the United States decided by the Supreme Court of Florida?” Thud.

Um, actually, mofo, it would be nice if the people of Florida could decide who their votes go to!! Jeebus! One further vomitorious note: the student who wrote about this in the Harvard Crimson wrote that Scalia "quipped" this last answer. Oh good Lord. This is a joke? This is deserving of flippancy?

Nov. 2 cannot get here fast enough.