Friday, September 03, 2004

HooohaaaawwwwhaaawwwwHaaaaaHaaaaaHoooooooooHeeeeeeeeeHoooooHaaahaahhaahahahahahahhahahahhahah (and so on)

Well, lookie here. Everyone's favorite cranky conservative Republicrat is on the outs with the band of invective-slinging cowards he considers his buds. I think Little Lady Laura had to skool him and now Zell has been o-fficially disinvited from the Grand Ol' Party's grand ol' party. Teehee. We all know that Zell would be reaaaaaaaallllly bizzy the day after his speech with interviews and just would not have a moment to spare for sitting down w/ LLLaura in her box during the preznit's speech. Haahahhahooohhaaawwwheeeeehoooo! Wink, nudge.

Aww, and he was doing so well, what with the fake outrage and the outright falsehoods and the mean, beady-eyed look, not to mention the...hair. He fit right in. Whatever will he do now? Too classic for words that this tiresome and politically fickle demagogue has been played by the very slime he was playing against Kerry. Doesn't he know that BushCo. are ruthless? Zell, for all his finger-pointing, mock-indignant semi-sermonizing, and camera-hogging, was still one turnip shy of a truckload. What a rube! The ignominy befits him. He should've known it would end badly; it always does for the snakes. As Rove sez: if you can't run w/ the big whores, stay on the porch, Zell.

The Repugs can't help but bring the hate. I waited for it all week -- admittedly while studiously ignoring the speeches. I assumed that like other supernatural phenomena, if something so mindblowing occurred, I would hear about it. Or at least Jon Stewart would tell me. (Talk to me, Jon.) Good thing for CNN and CNBC I've been real busy at work, or the hate mail from these quarters would've been flying. They're so lazy that I'm thinking of hatching an evil plan to take over the world, fire all of them, and replace them w/ a cadre of 3rd graders.

Hate, it gets the blood pumping. This is what the Repugs do best (okay, maybe 2nd to Fear), and since they haven't secured their base fully yet, some of it just HAD to be on display in NYC. Ain't a one in that Garden who wasn't hootin' and hollerin' for more red meat from KEYNOTE SPEAKER Zell. We know who shows up at these conventions, and it ain't your grandma's delegate. More blood, please, is the general refrain. Mr. and Mrs. Yayhoo were mighty pleased to hear a "true" "Democrat" "finally" "tell" "the" "truth." [Oh, good Lord, y'all know that everything these dolts say has to be put in finger quotes to explain its utter remove from reality/fact.]

I wish someone (are you listening, Jon Stewart?) would do a little compare-n-contrast commercial with the Keynote speakers from both conventions. I'll put Obama up against anybody anyday anytime anyhoo. And the hope and dignity of Obama's speech contrasted w/ the bitterness, anger, hypocrisy, and inertia of Zell's... no reason why we shouldn't win.

And, oh yeah, one more thing: f*ck you, Zell. A little blogogram from me and John Kerry.

Alternative titles for this post:
Zellfire and Hamnation
Zell's A-poppin'
Dammit it all to Zell
Zell, NO!
Rebel Zell