Friday, September 17, 2004

Herding Chicken Pot Pies

Hiya Happy People. This is my first blog and I'm very excited about this whole thing!

My co-worker J. sent me, and a bunch of other folks, this INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE political commentary:

"Some may agree, some may not. Here are my latest thoughts: Islam is turning into a non-religious entity because of these zealost terrorists. Any religion that condones suicide, for any reason, should be questioned. The acts of terrorism show cowardice, and are loosely interpreted as religious JIHAD rather than a political act. I would suggest a "Three Strike" policy against Islamic terrorism, at least against American interests abroad or on American soil. Strike One: Remove all American presence from Iraq and Afganistan. Let them "enjoy" anarchy until they are back to herding goats. Strike two: Remove all military presence from ALL Middle Eastern countries, I mean wouldn't the Saudis start their own terrorism force? Strike Three: Level Mecca - not that I want to be the terrorist responsible for laying waste to the holy city.

Talk about cowardice - how about the Bush "town hall meetings" - Republicans only. I have one word for a President who can't speak about, or justify his policies to the open citizenry of the country - PUSSY!!! What is he afraid of? Some third grader picking apart his administration??? It could happen. That might make the debates a little more interesting!!! Kerry needs to address  issues like the economy more often AND I do think the Republicans have turned terrorism into a bigger issue than it really should be and they're beating Kerry over the head with it. Really, how many of us will die by acts of terrorism? I am more afraid of hurrican IVAN right now."

Um, ok. She seemed liked such a normal girl before that. How does one respond to such utter shite?

J, I hope you're joking because this sounds like lunatic right wing ranting! I'm shocked and couldn't disagree more strongly. While I'm not a religious person, I have to say that we all have to stop blaming God and religion for every crazy thing that insane people do. In America, we don't blame Christianity for abortion clinic bombings, the Oklahoma City bombings, the
Michigan Militia, etc. and we don't blame Judaism for the Sharon government denying people water, removing people from their own homes, building walls on other people's property, or driving tanks over peace activists. So why do we blame another major world religion because a tiny percentage of hopeless, angry, pathological people cause devastation? There are
always going to be people in every religion (and people who don't adhere to any religion) who do insane, even terrorist, things. Let's judge people by their actions and not their political, cultural, racial, religious, or state affliliations. My point is
that just because those fuckheads who kill abortion doctors call themselves Christians, doesn't mean that we need to devalue all of Christianity. (And, I say this as a person who grew up in the Bible Belt having been told I'm going to hell because I'm not born again.)

No religion condones suicide. If you don't believe me, read the holy books. The stupid things that people do on behalf of their religions aren't due to the fact that the holy books say so.

I mean, bombing Mecca??? Are you on crack??? Hell, why don't we then bomb the wailing wall and join the KKK in bombing black churches and go ahead and destroy all churches, synagogues and mosques? While we're on a roll, we should destroy all religious symbols in general. Those bastards wearing crosses offend my sensibilities because they simply serve to remind me
of the terrorism that the Christian crusades have inflicted for centuries! Do you see how crazy that sounds? It's the exact same thing as saying "Let's bomb Mecca."

Mecca is a holy place for a billion people. Are you actually saying that you think it's a good idea to destroy ANY holy place, much less a place that one-sixth of the entire planet cherishes? Those shameful philistine governments that destroy other
cultures' treasures (religious, artistic or otherwise) should be the focus of our anger and outrage. Mecca is not a center of evil, and even the BushCo. government isn't so stupid that they'd argue that. Mecca is a place of peace where normal, everyday muslims make a pilgrammage to pray. (Ever heard of The Wailing Wall? It's not exactly the center of the uber-conservative Sharon government.) Despite whatever conspiracy-of-the-day the right wing "think" tanks may have cooked up, there aren't conference rooms there where people birth terrorist machinations. There aren't computers and modems and faxes people utilize in colluding to destroy America. The American media, under the thumb of the right wing, have
convinced us all that THOSE PEOPLE hate us and want to destroy us but just like most Christians and Jews, most Muslims are normal everyday people.

The problem here is that BushCo. and their ilk have manipulated America to believe that an entire religion hates us, so that we can have a scapegoat, and will blindly support Dubya's racist, neo-conservative, classist, unilateral policies. I can't encourage you more to read alternative media (i.e., news sources that are not owned by major corporations who have a
stake in what's reported and how it's represented). Here are some to peruse:,, The network "news" agencies and local newspapers aren't sufficient to educate ourselves about what's really going on in the world, or to see perspectives that aren't tainted with a subjective brush. Even BBC
(world news) is a start.

"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell
them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and for exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country.” --Hermann Goering, Hitler’s Reich Marshall, at the Nuremberg Trials after World War II.

In hope and dismay,

I replied "all" and got three responses. The first was from Thoughtful Mexican Guy giving a well considered and impassioned anti-bigotry argument. The next one came from Texas Rupugnican Girl who think she works for the "most liberal company in the most liberal town" (That'd be the flippin' GAP in Los Angeles. I'm neither mean nor fatuous enough to comment on that.) mustering all her strength and determination to ask people to vote "FOR someone, not AGAINST someone." Is that all she's got? Is anyone really THAT ridiculously ignorant? For anyone who never took LOGIC 101, here's a crib sheet: when there are only two candidates, and you can only vote for one, you vote for someone and against the other someone. It doesn't really matter if you wax philosophic or wax moronic because, last time I did higher math anyway, ONE equals ONE. It's just as good to vote against Dubya as it is to vote for Kerry, especially considering that it's the same act. Anyone who votes for Traitor Nader or himself or Mickey Mouse (Gosh, that's so clever. Are you a scientist?) when his country is in such dire straits and so desperately needs him, deserves four more years of BushCo and an interminably long prison sentence--but I repeat myself. The final email came from Meek & Stoopid Girl who, um, well, ya know, sorta like asked me not to send her any replies because I'm too smart and knowledge is scary and the world is too big and God will severely punish anyone who thinks (She may be right about that one because we anti-Dubya folks are certainly taking a beating.) and libraries are the work of the devil and the world will end if we ponder more than our navels and ok, ok, I exaggerate a bit. But, I'm really good at reading between the lines, and I'm sure that's what she meant when she whimpered and a widdle puddle o' pee appeared at the bottom of her email.

So, then I told my actual intelligent, political friends about it, and L. said the best and funniest thing I've heard in about fifty years. On the subject of letting "them ENJOY anarchy until they are back to herding goats" (which I have to say was so utterly, ignorantly, blockheadedly offensive that I couldn't even bring myself to address it), L.A. mentioned that it doesn't make us civilized just because we buy frozen foods, and I quote, "FUCK HER TO HELL AND MAY SHE STAY THERE, HERDING CHICKEN POT PIES FOR ALL OF ETERNITY." Damn I love that. We liberals can't be accused of lacking passion--despite that our leadership thinks that means screwing lotsa hot, dumb "ladies." Really, what an excellent point. Our way of life is not to be shoved down the throats of everyone else on the planet as (cue the harp) THE SUPERIOR WAY OF BEING. I think that's pretty self-explanatory, and if it's not clear to you, write me, my friend, and I'll give you another lesson in LOGIC 101.

Please oh please think about the importance of voting for Kerry and have a great weekend,
Dissents and Laments


Blogger R. said...

Well said E.! We need to point Micheal Moore to your explanation of "voting for someone in Logic 101" because his latest rant (through demonstrates that he still hasn't gotten rid of all the egotistical, blockheaded illogic that led him to support Nader in 2000. You're a welcome voice on the dissent channel frequency!

3:19 PM  

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